


death’s gonna come

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Arthur Ketch Needs a Hug, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Past Character Death, Post-Episode: s12e17 The British Invasion, Post-Episode: s15e03 The Rupture, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-26
Updated: 2019-10-26
Packaged: 2021-01-03 19:55:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21185102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: S15 SPOILERS Y’ALLArthur Ketch has never been afraid of death. He thinks it’s better to accept the inevitable rather than fear it.And what better way to die than to show everyone that he truly does have a heart?





	death’s gonna come

**Author's Note:**

> this was supposed to be much angstier and was going to end with Ketch going to Hell but like  
his death was irritating and illogical and SPN and the writers never deserved him and you know what?? that’s enough pain for a while
> 
> also fuck SPN’s Heaven and Hell we’re making up our own rules here
> 
> title’s from William Finn’s You Gotta Die Sometime

Arthur Ketch had never feared death. Sure, he had dreaded it; it was so horribly inconvenient. But feared it? He can’t recall a moment when he had - his own death, at least.

He’d faced it too many times to let himself be afraid. It had been around him since he was young. It was too familiar, like a friend. As someone who had brought it on so many people, it was strange to be on the other end. Watching Mary and Dean, watching the gun in her hand, he had just simply accepted it.

Coming back, and crawling out of that sewer had been harder than being shot. Continuing on had always been harder than dying. He knew this and understood this, which is why he couldn’t blame Mick Davies for attempting to take his own life back during Kendricks. (The tears running down his face, one foot over the ledge, the way he’d told Ketch to step back or else- it had shaken him to his core. Ketch could still picture it as easily as if it was happening right in front of him again.)

He’d been able to talk Mick down, letting him collapse in his arms and sob, let him confess that this wasn’t the first time he’d tried to take his own life, and he understood how he felt more than he wanted to admit. But the difference between them? Mick had been afraid of what would come next. Ketch knew what would be next, after death. He knew there was no way he’d make it to Heaven, not after everything he’d done, all the lives he’s taken, which is why he’d accepted it long ago.

Being pinned against the wall by Ardat, he felt helpless. He hated that helpless, vulnerable feeling, and he hated himself for not being able to stop this. He knew that she wasn’t going to let him live, saw it in her eyes. It was the same look Mary had, all that time ago. This had been his second chance, and he was okay with that. He’d been able to do the right thing, he hoped. He had saved others instead of letting them die in order to protect himself, and he never would have done that before. (He liked to think that perhaps Sam and Dean would even be proud of him.)

Ketch had spent his entire life around pain, whether it was giving or receiving, and now he could finally be done. He had even hurt Mick, which was the biggest regret in his life. There had been no other choice, any other decision would have ended with them both dying, but that didn’t mean anything. Wouldn’t it have been better to die instead of killing him? He didn’t know anymore. His final wish would have to be to apologise to Mick, explain, make it up to him. He couldn’t spend an eternity with the knowledge that Mick could be in Heaven, hating him forever and never knowing why he did what he did. He truly hoped the universe or Death or whomever would hear his wish, give him this final peace before damning him to Hell.

Dying had been the easiest part of his life - both times. He hadn’t gotten the chance to ask Rowena to redo his Seal before everything happened, and he wasn’t sure if he regretted that or not. Maybe this was best for everyone. Best to go out this way, to die for his loyalty. “Loyal to a fault,” he had told Sam. He always knew it would be the death of him some day, he just didn’t know how true that would be.

How ironic was it, that he died with his heart ripped out? The last message he could send the world. Almost like he was saying, “look at me! I do have a heart, see?” After years of being called heartless by everyone in his life, even Mick on certain occasions, it was too fitting to go out like this.

He never felt himself hit the ground. He mostly just felt numb. Was he dead? Was everything over yet? He couldn’t tell, couldn’t see anything. He was left to scramble through the darkness, searching for something. Was this Hell? He was left with questions upon questions, lost and anxious. He felt heavy, tired. He couldn’t do this for an eternity, forever searching for something he’d never find.

He didn’t know how much time had passed. He was certainly dead. He had to have been. But if he was, why wasn’t he sure? Shouldn’t there be some sign he was going to Hell? He tried to open his mouth, but no noise came out. Nothing but silence and darkness.

Ketch was certain that this was it, he’d be dealing with this for eternity, when he jumped at the feeling of hands on him. “It’s okay, Arthur, you’re going to be okay.” He turned at the voice, relaxing into the arms wrapping around him. He reached out, gripping onto the familiarity. 

The first sight he’s gotten was Mick smiling at him, pulling him close. He didn’t care whether this was real or not, because it meant getting to have Mick here with him. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered, finally finding his voice. “I know,” Mick replied, just as gentle. “You’re here with me now, okay?” He nodded, pressing his head against Mick’s. The darkness warped around them, forming a scene. Piece by piece, it formed his house in England, the one he had shared with Mick. “I’m definitely in Hell,” he remarked, to which Mick laughed. “Fortunately for me, you’re not.” 

Mick pulled away, standing up, and Ketch stared, afraid that he’d slip away and disappear. “Come on, get up.” He scrambled to his feet at Mick’s words, following him over to the sofa and sitting next to him. “I was mad at first, when I found out you shot me, but I understand now. I understand everything now, okay? Please don’t spend eternity apologising to me,” he said, teasing heavy in his tone. Ketch nodded, smiling back. “If that’s what you’d like.” He put his arm around Mick’s shoulders, letting himself feel secure. If this was a cruel joke, and everything got ripped out from under him, now would be the perfect time, but it didn’t come.

Mick pulled him into a kiss, rougher than he had expected, but he didn’t object. “I thought I’d have to wait years before getting to be with you again,” he explained against Ketch’s lips. “Well, you’re quite lucky that I’m not.”

Ketch pulled Mick onto his lap, grinning. “Thank you for being terrible at living.” He sighed at Mick’s joke, shaking his head, disapprovingly. “I did the right thing, excuse you.”

Mick’s face softened, wrapping his arms around Ketch’s shoulders. “You really did,” he agreed, catching the way Ketch’s throat caught and the way his chest froze just for a second. “And now you get to be here with me.”

“Huzzah,” he mumbled while leaning closer to Mick’s face, smiling at the way he rolled his eyes.

If this was his Heaven, his eternity, he could deal with that. Perhaps he should have feared death before, but there was nothing to fear now. He was happy and free. No worrying about losing Mick, no dying, no monsters, no Men of Letters. Nothing but each other. Forever to do whatever they wanted. It was almost enough to make him cry, fall apart at the idea of finally getting to be free without having to fight or hurt anyone.

This might even perhaps be the first time he can say he feels safe. He thinks he rather likes the feeling.


End file.
